The Journey

Pregnancy lasts such a long, loooonnngg time! I tell myself to expect it to last a year, but even then- its sooo hard to pace myself!  I haven't told many people yet (no one in Derek's family, not even my parents) mainly because if I'm talking about it or being asked about it, it will feel like it lasts just that much longer. But maybe that only works if you tell no one at all, because I'm not sure it's working.

I try to just distract myself and forget that I'm pregnant (which, when successful, results in me believing it- and subsequently freaking out). But generally that only lasts about a minute before I remember or am reminded. 

Thing is, even at this early stage it is an all encompassing "condition" (for lack of a better term). My body feels off- congested, bloated, emotional. I will suddenly feel achy, dizzy, or a twinge of pain. And I have to think about the pregnancy every time I put something in my mouth, both in terms of "will this make me nauseous" as well as "is this safe for the baby." That's at least 4-5 times a day!

I'm not trying to complain. I'm happy to feel pregnant because I'm super happy to BE pregnant. I'm just musing. Stating the obvious, perhaps. I'm pretty good at that sort of thing. 

The thing I will complain about (which I suppose is ultimately the point of this post) is that a year is a reeeaaally long time to wait! Pregnancy is a means to an end for me. I need to seriously learn to enjoy the journey. Ugh.