Friday the 13th

My gosh, what a day. I woke up this morning (last night) at 3am feeling strange. I thought I should go to the bathroom. To pee, I assumed, as per usual. But it seems my poor body had something else entirely in mind. I horrible diarrhea (sorry)-- just one bout, but pretty intense. I'd heard/read this was an early sign of labor, so it made me suspicious. 

Then the contractions started. Nothing severe, but definitely there-and ten minutes apart. Consistently. I tracked them for about an hour then fell asleep exhausted. Those suckers wipe me out! They were definitely painful. But bviously they weren't too strong, or I'd never have been able to sleep through them. 

I woke up in the morning exhausted but feeling ok. I didn't notice (or try to notice) any contractions or anything; I just got the kiddos ready and James off to school. I did, however, call the doctor's office afterward. I figured that if nothing else, they could strip my membranes earlier-- giving me that much more day to possibly deliver (and have Dr. F do the delivering, as opposed to an on-call doctor). If things were going to happen today, I wanted them to happen before 5pm so F could deliver me.

Anyway, when I called and explained, they wanted me to come in super soon, as Dr. F "would want to see me sooner rather than later" to make sure I wasn't too dilated. Stupid. I shouldn't have listened; it worked me up way too much (which I already was before), with worry as well as excitement. I just had a feeling that today might be the day. I think that feeling was hope. I had thought, however, that that feeling was some sort of intuition. Dumb. I took Jolie over to Rose's house to play with Anneliese (I owe Rose so big time); then I headed to the doc's. 

The office was really busy, so it took a while to get in there. They took my blood pressure (117/66), weighed me (175), and listened to the baby's heartbeat (140s). Then I stripped down and waited for Dr F. Then right when he was supposed to come in, Justine (his nurse) came in to tell me he'd just been called in for a delivery. She said he would be a while but that she could just check me, or another doc could. I told her I didn't care who did it; I just wanted my membranes stripped. She was about to grab a doctor when she peeked at my chart. Then she turned back around. 

Turns out I am Group B Strep positive. I have Group B Strep. It's a bacterial infection my cervix (I think?) has that doesn't harm me at all and is nothing I'd even notice. But it can seriously harm the baby. The baby can't get it unless exposed directly to it (ie during a vaginal birth, etc), though. But because of this, they won't strip me (ever... waa) to avoid the risk of contaminating the baby. It also means that they'll put antibiotics in my IV while I'm in labor, monitor the baby more closely at birth, and keep the baby (us, I guess) a full two-days after birth just to monitor her and make sure she isn't affected/ill.

After that fantastic news (sarcasm), she checked my cervix... and... nothing. No change whatsoever. Three centimeters dilated, 80 percent effaced (pretty soft, at least, not firm at all... so I guess that's something) and a -2 station. Just like last time. All that hurting and contracting had been for nothing. 

Needless to say, I was crushed. I totally cried. I tried so hard not to, but the tears wouldn't stop. I was so embarrassed. Justine was sweet, though, and at that moment I was glad it was her and not F. He would have been kind, but he would not have understood. Sometimes you just need another girl.

She told me about several things I could do to try and get things going. But once I was done crying (and got some food and did some shopping, haha), I knew I was done. I was done hoping to have her today. I was done trying to induce or encourage labor along. I was going to get a good book, take a good nap and do nothing at all but relax. It's what I needed (need) the most. And waiting would be fine. It will be. I'd just thought she was coming sooner is all.

I had kind of  hoped to start labor on my own this time. It's very likely my last pregnancy, and I thought I might be disappointed to have never experienced unplanned contractions, my water breaking on its own, etc. But after all that anxiety, emotional and physical, and after realizing just how painful the contractions need to be in order to go in on your own, I have no desire to do it that way at all! I remembered why inductions have always been my plan of action. I don't want the fear. Or the chaos. Or the anxiety. Or the pain. I like the controlled environment and the epidural and the experts there taking charge. So it's okay. It's good.

So now we wait. Again. Still. But I know a bit more about what's going on (mostly how none of it means much) and feel less panicked about it all now. One more week. I can do one more week. Especially if the days are nothing at all like today.

Exhausted sigh.

The End.

It's freezing outside, but I'm melting.

Melting-DOWN, that is. Routinely. It's getting old. But there is some silver lining, I think. This is a "note to self" I put on my phone yesterday. Like a quick journal entry. It explains my thought process. Read on.

"I have a major meltdown every other night if not more often. Crying hysterically, swearing up a storm, feeling immensely and personally offended by everything and everyone.... I swear it's dehydrating me, all this crying I've been doing. (I'm somewhat serious.) A perk of this hormonal craziness: when the same exact thing happens post-partum, I'll not blame the baby or the sleep deprivation I'll have because of her. Because the craziness was here before. At least there's that. Eegh, it's super exhausting, though."

Damn hormones. Sigh.

Turn to the side and cough.

I had my 37-week appointment today. One more, and I'm done!! I had skipped my 36-week one, FYI, because the appointment would have fallen on Thanksgiving break, and I thought it was stupid to squeeze it in a couple of days before this one. So we sacked it and just started in at 37-weeks.

Because I'd missed my 36-week appointment, this was my first time being checked for dilation etc. And I had to have a strep B swab done. Besides the discomfort of laying on my back, the checking and swabbing were no big deal. Not really painful except when he had to sort of dig for my cervix. It's shy; it hides (or rather it's way-the-crap up there and at a 90 degree angle).

Anyway, here are the stats: I weighed in at 173.2, a couple of pounds more than last time, perfect. My blood pressure was 113/68, which is apparently good. Her heart rate was 155, which felt really fast to me but is about what it's always been. And I'm only measuring 37-38 weeks, so not as extra-big as I've been in the past. Kind of right on, actually. Maybe she won't be huge after all.

And now the exciting part: I'm dilated to 3 cm and am 80% effaced, and she's at a -2 station. Yay! That's progress, people!! That's as far along as I've ever been on my own. It's exactly where I was when I went in to be induced, actually, if I remember right! Throw some pitocin my way, and I could have this baby tonight! And I still have two weeks to go... Kind of cool. 

Cool and also exhausting. Turns out having your cervix harassed and then walking the mall and then having a melt-down (more on that later) makes for an exhausting evening. It's only just 9pm, and I've dozed off at least 6 times just trying to type this! Yeesh. Maybe I'll 'rest my eyelids' for a bit, as Grandma Bunny would say. Yes. Yes, I'll try that.

Zzzz

Thirty-Six Weeks

I taught Sunday School today, for the last time pre-baby. It went well, and I must say I'll miss it. I really have loved the calling and loved the people I teach. Anyway, the point is: church was good. Things went well. I was fine. But by the time Relief Society was done, I was drop-dead exhausted. Really. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I could have passed out. (Dramatic? Yes. But true.)

Once we got home, we ate a quick lunch of leftover Thanksgiving dinner and then Derek put the kids down for naps while I crashed on the couch. The nap was super helpful (though apparently not helpful enough). After nap time, the kids came in, and we were snuggling. Then I had a meltdown. 

It was for nothing really. James was mean to Jolie (took a toy away, nothing huge) so he got put in time out. Then Jolie was mean to me (was swinging a toy in my face when I told her to stop, then threw it across the room when she did stop), so time out for her. Then on her way to time out, she stuck her tongue out at me. I shouted at her to get in time out, adding a minute for the tongue. Then I fell apart.

I went off to Derek on how they are so disrespectful to me and how it's no wonder society is disintegrating due to the lack of respect for authority, etc. Extreme, I know. They're three and six. Really my feelings were just hurt because I'm super sensitive lately. 

I just feel/felt that I need them to be super great because I'm not. But that's not fair. They're kids. Also, kids are d-bags sometimes; they're not consistently considerate. Hell, most adults aren't! But you really can't expect your kids to support you emotionally. It isn't fair. I should know this, having been on the other end of the stick far too often. But I was dumb and emotional. That happens, apparently.

Derek and I talked until I felt better, and the kids (post time-out) stayed in their room. I'm sure they felt no remorse (Jolie at least was playing and laughing), but at least I was able to calm down. And really, I'm not sure that remorse was necessary. The reaction wasn't proportionate to the offense. I realized that eventually.

I hate it, but I feel like since I was sick I'm just...done. I was doing so well getting things done and being positive. And now my body wears out after like two hours of effort and I'm just so darned emotionally spent. We've had cold cereal for dinner more nights than not. Derek just put in his own laundry so he'd have something to wear to work tomorrow. :( Now I'm losing it emotionally for seriously nothing at all. Sad. I'm kind of a failure.

I was telling Dena and Tori (via text) about what happened, venting really. And as I typed the grumpy stuff about my 'bratty kids,' Jolie came over and gently laid a blankie on me. There goes my theory about kids lacking compassion.  And then James came in and stood all repentant and hugged me. "I'm sorry." He said. "For what?" I asked. I know, I'm a jerk. But his response was so sweet and sincere: "I can't remember. It's been too long." Aww! Seriously?! Blast these babies, making me love them so much!

So after talking with Derek and then being treated sweetly by my kids, I felt better. Substantially. 

And then Derek came in, sat the kids down and began leading a little FHE (one of the things we'd discussed, which was sweet that he listened and took the lead on it). He started with the "Because I have been given much" song. Then he talked about how many good, nice things we have and how many things we have to be thankful for. And then he explained fasting and fast offerings (something James was curious about today) and how it was a way for us to help people, especially as we have so much. Then I explained that at Christmas time, we get presents but it's Jesus' birthday. Since we can't give Him a real present, we could be kind and generous to others - and that's like giving a gift to Him. "Unto the least of these my brethren" etc. Then we ended with the "If you don't walk like most people do..." Primary song. It was a quick but effective lesson, I think. And it certainly helped the spirit in our home. It certainly helped the spirit in me.

So the day ended as well as it began, and the middle messiness was forgiven. My family is so patient with me, significantly more patient than I am with myself (or with them half the time). I am grateful for this. And I hope it holds up.

I keep thinking that once the baby's born, everything will be easier. But after having birthed two babies, I know that's far from the truth! I'll be more comfortable, yes. In love with my new little one, definitely. But less hormonal and tired? Yeah, no. That's not going to go away for a while. Boo. So apparently I need to buck up. Or slow down. Meh, probably both. 

I can do that. Or at least I can try. Things are going to be fine. Life is good. It really is. Remind me of that tomorrow when I'm falling apart. :|

Thankvember 2013

This November, I decided to focus on things I am grateful for- naming a different thing every day of the month, and having a corresponding picture for each. (I did this last year as well; it's not my original idea.) It was a great exercise and helped me stay positive and grateful the whole month long. I really enjoyed it. Here are the 30 things I was/am thankful for (this is not an all-inclusive list for sure).

Thankvember Day 1: I am immensely grateful for the freedom and ability to read anything and everything I want: to educate myself, to read religious literature, or simply to entertain myself with an enjoyable novel. Books are my happy place, and I'm so thankful they are not banned nor burned nor out of my reach.

Thankvember Day 2: I am so thankful that my children are friends.  This picture is from just, just now. I heard a bunch of giggling and squealing and general goofiness coming from their room, and I went in to tell them to play quietly (so mom and dad could sleep in, lol)... And this is what I found. Both of them in Jolie's bed just playing and snuggling and being sweet. James apparently was using Jolie's head as a pillow, hence the squeals.  They're the best of friends, and it absolutely melts my heart.

Thankvember Day 3: It SNOWED!!!  Today I am thankful for seasons. And that I live in a beautiful place where I can enjoy all four of them!

Thankvember Day 4: I am thankful to have the financial means and available services to take care of my family. Today: a fun trip to the dentist (no sarcasm; they love it)! No cavities, hooray!

Thankvember Day 5: I am thankful for the right to vote, and the many men and women who have fought and continue to fight for this freedom.

Thankvember Day 6: I am so grateful for my sweet Jolie Girl. And that we waited a while before having our third, so I could have some one-on-one time with her. Today we had a girls' day ... Shopping and lunch, just the two of us. It's been perfect. Love her so much.

Thankvember Day 7: I am immensely thankful for healthy children... and for the fact that I have had and am having a healthy, pretty 'textbook' pregnancy... and for the awesome doctors and services available to me! Sweet baby girl, it was so, so good to "see" you today! xo

Thankvember Day 8: I'm so grateful to be married to a man by whom I am smitten ... I suspect I may not be the only one. 

Thankvember Day 9: I am thankful for my children's adventurous palates! We went out for sushi tonight, and they gobbled it up! So proud.

Thankvember Day 10: I'm thankful for all of the happy, sweet moments I get with my kids. Like snuggling and reading books together. Love. And I'm thankful that these positive moments are more frequently occurring than are negative ones.

Thankvember Day 11: Today I am thankful for my father-in-law. I never got to know him, really, but he must have been amazing if the whole "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" theory proves true. I am so thankful for his influence on our lives and cannot wait to get to know him someday.

Thankvember Day 12: I am thankful for money and that we have enough.

Thankvember Day 13: I'm thankful for my little shopping buddy! Jolie is seriously so much fun to shop with! She's super patient and pleasant and sweet and really just a lovely little friend! It's hard to reign in our girls' dates, as I know my one-on-one time with her is coming to an end. So we're going out while we've got the chance. And it's delightful!

Thankvember Day 14: I am thankful that I've been able to adjust to morning craziness enough to make my kids a hearty breakfast before school and do so happily... and for my mother, who set the bar by doing so my whole childhood.

Thankvember Day 15: I'm thankful for the ability to crawl out of a funk. It's not always possible, but this morning it was. Making my bed, listening to Christmas music, showering and getting ready for the day, and doing mani/pedis with Jolie all helped. The end result: a much happier, much more zen Becca.

Thankvember Day 16: I'm thankful that we were able to be flexible with our traditions this year and start them early. The warm, cozy glow of the Christmas tree very seriously soothes my soul and makes me so happy!

Thankvember Day 17: I'm thankful for these seriously great guys and that they are still BFFs even after all these years!

Thankvember Day 18: I'm thankful for the ability to create.

Thankvember Day 19: I'm thankful for motherly intuition. I rarely trust mine, assuming it to be nonexistent. But today I let James stay home when he said his tummy hurt, even though I wasn't sure it was legit. Well, a hall full of barf just proved it so.  Bleh. Hooray for warm baths and Santa beards to make things better.

Thankvember Day 20: I meant to post a pic to show that I'm thankful for the ability to veg, to play games, to snuggle and relax. But seeing this picture makes me feel more so that I'm thankful for these hands, and for all they do for me and mine.

Thankvember Day 21: I am thankful for my rural upbringing. Photo courtesy of my bro-in-law Jorge (crappy cropping is all mine).

Thankvember Day 22: I'm thankful for a relaxing evening at home with the family.

 

Thankvember Day 23: I'm thankful that Derek is willing to put the kids to bed pretty much every night and let me lay here on the couch with my huge belly and its contractions. Thank you, Derek. Really.

Thankvember Day 24: I'm thankful for smart kids. No pressure, little womb baby.

Thankvember Day 25: Today I am especially grateful for site-to-store shipping. I bought a whole bunch of stuff we needed without having to haul my poor, useless body through the store to pick it out; they had it all ready for me at the front desk! So nice. And considering how wiped out a quick grocery run made me, superbly appreciated.

Thankvember Day 26: I am so thankful for my siblings (by birth as well as 'inherited' through marriage) and that we are genuinely friends. Today I'm especially thankful for this gorgeous girl, and that she came out of her surgery with no complications or problems and a darling baby to boot! Welcome, Baby Cameron! And Tori, I am so proud of you! I love you like crazy.

Thankvember Day 27: This was the only picture on my phone today. Truth. So today I'm grateful for... overly-informed children??  She's never seen me use it, but the box is pretty clear. Silly girl. She needed milk for Baby Waa, she said. I caught her with it and couldn't help but laugh. Disturbing? Slightly. Adorable? Certainly.

Happy Thanksgiving from me and mine!! This Thanksgiving, I am especially grateful for family, near and far. Love you all so, so much! Thankvember Day 28.

Thankvember Day 29: I am so thankful for this little guy. I love him so, so much and am so glad he's my boy. Being the oldest, he gets too-high expectations and too-hard responsibilities and likely too-severe discipline. But I hope he knows that I love him like crazy and am so proud of the wonderful person he is. He is smart and funny and compassionate and kind. Love you, handsome boy.

Thankvember Day 30: I am actually super grateful for my current calling (job) in church. I'm the Gospel Doctrine teacher during Sunday School, and I've always been so scared of that position as I feel I really don't know that much! It's so intimidating to teach others who do! But I have loved it because I have learned so, so much and have grown so much personally/spiritually as a result of the preparation and teaching. Tomorrow is my last time teaching pre-baby, and I'm seriously going to miss it while I'm out on leave! The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true! It really is. And that, as they say, is good news indeed. 

Pity Party

I'm having a rough evening. I'm hurting, and this makes me ornery. I'm having contractions- not consistent but certainly painful. My lower back is cramping and hurting and sending shots of pain up my back. I just feel wiped out and... done. I'm done. I just want the baby out and this pregnancy to be completed. It's been long enough. I'm out of steam.

I'll be thankful in the morning. For now, I'm going to sulk. :( Waa.

Thirty-Five Weeks

Thirty-five weeks... Sitting down for a delicious Thanksgiving meal. The meal was fantastic. The company was wonderful. The photo sucks. I hate how my smile looks when my face is fat. It's why I never fully smile in my belly shots. But I wasn't thinking. Dang. It is accurate, so I'll keep it. But That doesn't mean I have to like it. Bah humbug.

On a happier note, my baby is almost full-term! I'm excited. I wish she were out now! Whenever you're ready, kid... 

PS. I had a doctor's appointment on the 22nd, when I was exactly 35 weeks. It was supposed to be my 34-week checkup, but we had had to postpone it due to my/our being sick. It was a pretty routine, uneventful appointment. I asked about the dizziness I'd had, and they assured me it was likely just a result of having been sick. Apparently pregnancy slows recovery significantly. My blood pressure was good, 114/63. My weight was 171.6, down a pound from before- also thanks to being sick. I was measuring at about 36 weeks, so slightly large still, but nothing unexpected. And her heart rate was good and strong, in the 140s-150s. So all is good. Glad to hear it. As I left, I made my final two appointments (he said I could skip my 36-week since the 35th and 37th were kind of overlapping). Two!! I can't believe we're so close! This baby's gonna be here before we know it! So exciting.

Cozy But Crampy

Today was a relaxing, easy day at home. There are perks to being quarantined, turns out; you're forced to take it easy and spend time with one another! It's been wonderful (those parts). My favorite part of the day was this morning when we were all gathered together around the coffee table. James and Derek were taking turns playing Minecraft (James had days; Derek had nights), and Jolie and I were making jewelry (Christmas presents... She strung some, then handed me a bead etc so I could use it). So fun. So cozy. So pleasant for all involved.

I slept in this morning, took a nap that I'm pretty sure was four hours long (!!) and had a relaxing bath. Sooo nice. Then tonight, Derek and I watched Romantics Anonymous (seriously enjoyable flick, in French with subtitles) whilst sipping Cherry Vanilla Sprites (mmm) and eating chocolate (of course). Perfection!

But after the movie, I started feeling less than awesome. I was fooling around on an app (Duolingo) reviewing my French. That was fun. But my body was less happy. Is, I should say. It's happening still.

First, I'm having fairly strong / uncomfortable contractions. Not too unusual, but certainly unignorable. Also, I'm feeling crampy. Like period crampy, dull/achy not sharp. It's down low and a bit in my back. And I'm feeling queasy. I'm sure they're all related but unsure as to whether they merit any concern. 

My anxiety levels have been peaked lately and I've had way too many daymares. I seriously can be sitting down for 1.67 seconds and think of a worst case scenario that could happen and what could be done as a follow up. Anyway, because of this anxiety, the situation (rather, combined situations) worries me.

But it's not my first pregnancy, and I know better. I know this is nothing. I am not counting contractions because that's ridiculous. I'm not in labor. I know I'm not. I really do know this. But red flags are flying nonetheless. 

It all may be due to my being sick. I've taken far too long to bounce back; it was Tuesday for crying out loud! But I'm still feeling the effects of it all. I hope I haven't screwed myself for these last few weeks. I'd rather not be in recovery mode the whole time, thank you very much. But I suppose we'll see. Maybe this is just what the last month of pregnancy is like! I've never tried to keep going full throttle before; perhaps I've just never noticed.

So there's that. Il y a ça. Baby is moving around still, so I'm not too worried about her. So I need to chill out and stop worrying about me. Everything is fine. It is. It is.

Thirty-Four Weeks

This picture was taken Thursday. I was 34 weeks and 6 days. I turned 35 weeks on Friday, so I barely squeezed it in. :) It was a rough week, though, so I figure I'm forgiven.

Oye. Where to begin? Friday I was struggling with depression. It was a great day; we even put up the tree and other Christmas decor. So fun! But I was still kind of fighting it in the back of my mind. Grr. Hate that. Then that night, Derek introduced me to a fun yet super mellow and relaxing video game (A World of Keflings), and I vegged. The glow of the Christmas lights... a relaxing game... far too many Andes mints... It was lovely. I felt happy and good. Unfortunately, I felt irresponsible as well. I didn't stop playing until about 3:30am and didn't sleep until about 4-4:30. Not smart. I know. It was just hard to let go of the happy feeling. And I tend to get obsessive.

I woke up around 7:30 the next morning. Nowhere near late enough, but I had a work training/conference to go to. So I got up and ready and took my half-delusional self to the conference. I was there for 4+ hours. Then I came home.

Sunday was a play-hooky kind if day. I was desperate for a down day. So I took one. And while I genuinely love church and hate that we missed it, it was a fantastic break. We later went over to Orrin and Christa's house for dinner (Yep, didn't even have to cook! Perfect day!) and had a fantastic time.  

Unfortunately, my down day couldn't reverse time or boost my immune system adequately to recover. Because I'm pretty sure that in my sleep-deprived delerium, I caught a nasty bug.

On Monday night, James was up a ton with nightmares. I let him sleep in my bed for a while, but ultimately he was just up far too often. I realized later that he was likely not feeling well, which was not letting him sleep well and was causing this general state of unrest. 

On Tuesday, he woke up saying his tummy hurt. "Hurt really bad, way more than usual." (Which broke my heart. His tummy usually hurts?! Really?) I thought it might be residual anxiety from the night before or just a scheme to stay home. But I figured that maybe he needed a down day too. And/or if there was something at school causing his tummy to "really hurt" then he should stay home for a day and enjoy the peace and comfort of home (I worry about his anxiety, mostly because he's far too much like me). Anyway, I listened to my intuition. And I'm glad I did. Because an hour or so later, he majorly puked all over the floor.

He was crazy sick. Like lie there and moan crazy sick. Huddle up in pain crazy sick. Lie on the bed saying nothing, looking at nothing, requiring nothing crazy sick. It is miserable to see your baby hurting.  Turns out, it is even worse to be similarly hurting right along with him.

I starting feeling ill around lunch time. By the time Derek got home, I was miserable. Once evening came I was balled up in pain and desperately hurting. Stomach cramps and pregnancy do not mix well. It was seriously awful. 

For the record: I never throw up. Like ever. I had food poisoning when we were first married, and I'm sure I puked on occasion as a kid. But besides that, I had a great streak going. Well, I broke that streak on Tuesday night. And I did so with a vengeance. 

By 3:30am-ish, I could keep water down. (Being desperately thirsty was a side effect of all the nastiness, so this was a huge deal. I will never take water for granted again.) And on Wednesday, I could eat food, though nothing more serious than ramen.

Tuesday night, I decided to go to work. But about an hour in, I got really, really dizzy. I was genuinely worried that I would fall over. And I was terrified to drive home. I felt a little better by 9:30 and was able to drive home, just super carefully (the gusty, NM-ish winds didn't do me any favors; they kept the car rockin and me unsure of my stability). I could have cried from relief when I was safely home in bed. It's possible I did. I wouldn't be surprised. I do that a lot lately.

So yeah. That's what we've been up to lately. Our story as of late. Drawn out and miserable, but that's honestly how it felt, so it's an accurate portrayal. We'd hoped to get back to normal life by the end of the week, but Derek started barfing Thursday night. Oy vey! It was like the freakin plague around here! So we've quarantined ourselves for the rest of the weekend. No one else should have these germs! And apparently we're all (still!) recovering. Waa.

Thirty-Three Weeks x Three

Third-Trimester Ultrasound

We got to see her beautiful face alright!  Look at that clarity!!  I can hardly believe they were able to capture her precious face so well!  Hooray for 3D ultrasounds!  The results of the growth-checking ultrasound: My uterus may be measuring big, but she isn't. She is spot on for the due date. Like in the 40th percentile, so a teensy bit small even (could it be?). She is perfect.  All the right parts and no extras from what they can see.  Spine, heart, brain, kidneys, it all looks great.  She's still a "she" which is always good to know. And she's proportional and measuring right on target.  More specifically, she's measuring around 4lbs 7oz, they think. And such big cheekies already?!! I love it!! Oh baby, I love you so much already.

Thirty-Two Weeks & Voting Day

Nov. 6, 3013

32 weeks (and 1/2, really)

119/63 blood pressure

172.2 lb

155 heartbeat

Measuring 35+ (almost 36!)

I get to see my baby girl tomorrow!! I'm 32 weeks and measuring 35. :| That's actually pretty typical for me, so I'm not too worried. But it's an excuse to schedule an ultrasound to see how big this bitty actually is! So pumped! Hopefully this time, she'll let us see her face! :)

PS.  Local elections today... Vote Jess Bradfield for City Council!! (He didn't win after all.  Bummer. But it was a suuuper close race.  And he's significantly more known now.  Next time, Jess, next time.)

Loss in the Form of a Tooth

Something big happened at our house Saturday night (November 2nd)! He's smiling now, but he was TERRIFIED!! I didn't think it would happen this soon, so we had not even discussed it or prepared him at all. He was screaming and bawling and scared. I felt awful. After a bunch of snuggling, shooshing, and talking, he's ok. But CRAP! I hadn't realized losing a tooth could be so terrifying!! 

The tooth was never even loose that we were aware of!! James had said his teeth hurt when we were eating lunch earlier in the day, but I thought nothing of it- assuming they were just sensitive to the cold water or having a rough time chewing the bread.  I wish I had asked for more details!  We had no idea! I'm not sure how James was so unaware. Kids in his class and his peers, etc, have lost teeth!  I think he knew it happened but only vaguely.  No details about the fact that it just falls out, or that there is blood involved (blood scares my kids to death). I seriously felt like a major failure of a mom. Luckily, we were able to talk things out and explain things and attempt to put a positive spin on it all.  The poor kid finally relaxed his stiff-as-a-board body, and his sobs finally let up.  The night ended alright.  But you'd better believe we'll be having the maturation talk sooner than later!

As part of this positive-spin business, I told him excitedly that it was time I made him a tooth pillow!  When I was a kid and lost my first tooth, my mom got out her sewing machine and made me my very own tooth pillow. It wasn't as literal as James' ended up being; mine's a pretty burgundy/pink floral print, circular, with lace around it and (of course) a pocket for my tooth. But I loved it. This tender action on my mom's part always made me feel so loved and special, and my tooth pillow is still among my treasured possessions. The kids have seen it (from out of my hope chest) and heard of it before.  So tonight, when James lost his first little tooth, I knew I had to make him his very own tooth pillow, to keep the tradition of love. I whipped together a cute little tooth (literally) pillow with a smiley face and (hopefully) happy eyes.  There's also a pocket (critical for keeping teeth safe for the Tooth Fairy) in the back (in its bum, according to James... nice). It's nowhere near perfect, but I hope it makes him feel special. I hope he knows just how much his mommy loves him.

He was so happy with it. He couldn't wait to sleep with "Toothie."

The next morning, James woke up super excited!  He came into my room exclaiming, "She came! She came!"  The Tooth Fairy had come after all.  She left him his very own dollar bill!  (She used to leave us 25 cents... she must have accounted for inflation, lol.)  We snuggled in bed for a bit, and then we ran to the window and flew open the blinds... It had snowed!!  The Tooth Fairy must be friends with the winter fairies we decided! :) 

It was a wonderful morning.  The kids were both so excited about James' visit from the Tooth Fairy. (Jolie woke up later and was so anxious to see if the Tooth Fairy had come that she didn't even want to hear about the snow... she just wanted to see that tooth pillow!)  And the snow was so fun and lovely.  We dug out their snow clothes (what we had that fit), and they went outside to play in (and eat, of course) the snow!  They had so much fun!  Afterward, we came inside to some hot cocoa and delicious pancakes- courtesy of a fantastic daddy!  Our neighbors Shaughnessy and (kids) Ryon and Jordyn joined us for breakfast.  It was cozy and great.  The trauma of the night before was a distant memory.  Sweet boy.  I can't believe he's old enough for this. My baby is growing up.

A Perfect Fall Day

Saturday, November 2nd, was seriously the most PERFECT fall day!  The kids woke up and just played in their room while Derek and I slept/snuggled in bed for a while.  Perfect.  Then we ate some delicious cinnamon rolls and orange rolls... and by some, I mean a whole lot.  Yummy.  Then we all got ready and headed out to Home Depot for a kids' craft event.  The kids built their very own ships, and they had so much fun doing it!  We also picked up a few items for the baby's room (screws for the cabinet pulls, a wooden rod for the inside of the wardrobe, etc). After that, we went up to Julie's house to help Daddy take care of Grandma's yard.  We had a picnic lunch first, and then we dove in-- literally, to the heaping piles of leaves!  It was so fun to spend some quality family time together- working and playing simultaneously.  The job took us a lot longer as a team than it likely would have had Derek tackled it himself, but I think he felt much less picked on to have company and help- however helpful we were.  And it really was fun for all of us.  Derek even had James help him with some "man stuff," which made James feel super proud.  My gosh, I love my family!  And I love perfectly crisp, sunny, crunchy, lovely fall!