Sorry to be so negative...

It should say that on the box.

My Want My Baby

Last night we had a family pizza party and movie night (Pizza Hut delivery and Hotel Transylvania, both awesome). In the middle of the movie and completely out of nowhere, Jolie laid her head in my lap and longingly said, "My want my baby."

Assuming she meant Baby Waah (her doll), I thought nothing of it. But then she continued, "My mean, my want my WEAL baby. My baby dat's wiff Gwamma Bunny."

(cue teary mommy)

She proceeded to explain that we needed to get "hings" ready for our baby ("her" to be specific) and elaborated on that a bit. Then she turned back to the movie and didn't mention it further.

It's possible I wept just a little. Me too, Jolie. Me too.

I'm getting tired

... of seeing these.



140

Shh... Listen.

While I am looking forward to having a bouncing little baby in the house again (and am still really hoping this month's the month...though there've been a few incidents of spotting that have made me leery), I am really loving the occasional moments of utter peace and quiet that I am privy to in this stage if the game.

Ahh, naptime.

It's a sacred time. Housework is (usually) done; children are fed; James is at school, and Jolie is dozing away in her room. As much as I love my children's company, there's something delightful about naptime.

I will be sad to give up this precious peace. But if it means I'll inherit a darling little baby to smooch on, I will gladly make the switch!

Today's Chant

Implantation bleeding!
Implantation bleeding!
Please be implantation bleeding!

(Repeat)

Jan. 29th: Implantation bleeding again?? Hm...

Roommates (er....wombmates?)

I understand that wishing never made it so. But...

Please be pregnant.
Please be pregnant.
Please be pregnant!

Egg, meet Sperm.
Sperm, meet Egg.
That's right, get cozy.
We intend for you to be roommates.


143.6 (wth is happening to me??!)

Patience

I'm still not pregnant, and I really want to be. I believe in God's timing, as well as my body's own ability to know when all is in order to best host a baby. But sheesh, it's hard to wait!

Last month's disappointment was really poignant. I hope this month's isn't. I just 'had a feeling.' I should've remembered that my intuition sucks.

A sweet thing to remember: Last month, as I was laying in bed feeling sad and crampy, Aubrey came over with a treat. In this circumstance, we should deem it "Better Than Baby" cake. :) I ate it for breakfast. It cheered me up substantially. I have fantastic friends.

I also have two amazing children. If I could never have more, I'd be happy and content with only them. It's just that I had felt (and feel) there was at least one more waiting... Was that my faulty intuition? I guess time will tell.

Come quick, baby. Mommy's ready for ya.



Update/PS(Later that night): Punto. Bleh. Oh well. I expected as much. I don't feel sad, surprisingly. I'm grateful for my fully functioning, predicable body. Things will happen when they happen. Until then, I'm going to take a deep breath and try to just calmly wait.