Aye Caramba!

Pardon my French, but it's been a crazy ass month!  

I truly felt like this was the month.  I mean, we banged it out like crazy.  Surely a baby should come from that.  I took the first (of waaayyy too many) pregnancy test on the 1st, a few days before my period was due.  I jumped the gun a bit, but I was excited.  Negative.  When my period didn't come on the 4th, I took one again.  Nope. I continued to take tests every few days, as my period never came!  I had assumed it was just skipped, ultimately.  I'd never had a skipped period (minus when I was pregnant, etc) so this freaked me out a little.  Not a ton.  I was just sort of disappointed in my body.  I'm logical like that.  Anyway, my period finally did come... two weeks late!!  What the crap, right?!  I was actually relieved to see Aunt Flo, as I had given up pregnancy at this point and was just worried about my malfunctioning body.  

The thing is, I have felt so weird for the past three weeks or so! It's like I've had a month of PMS!  I've not been especially crabby (well, according to me), but I've felt off.  And I've been sooooo starving all the time!  I've scrapped my diet as per the doctor's orders (apparently diets aren't good for fertility or fetuses), which has resulted in a good amount of weight gain.  But even with the extra calories, I'm freaking starving all the time!  Seriously.  It's not even that I want to eat; my stomach is just growling and cramping with hunger!  Maybe I have a parasite.  (Sarcasm.  I'm not that lucky.)

So it's been a funky month. And I'm exhausted.

I really don't want to have a holiday baby or a winter baby.  I just think it's lame for the kid to have to share his/her birthday with a big holiday, and the winter contributed to my awful postpartum depression last time. I'm not really wanting to sign up for that again.  As such, this was the last month that I really wanted to try getting pregnant.  The last chance.  And it's gone.  Insurance-wise, we should try for a couple more months, since then we could have a baby in 2013 and keep all deductible contributions in one fiscal year.  No need to have the baby cost us more than necessary.  But I still don't know.  Sharing Thanksgiving wouldn't be a huge deal, I guess, but Christmas?  Bleh.  

So we'll see.  I don't think we'll intentionally avoid pregnancy quite yet, but I don't think we'll try hard either.  I'm still wanting a baby, but I'm getting burned out.  I certainly don't want to repeat another month like this last one.

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