A very unmerry unbirthday to me.
:(
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Into the rabbit hole...
I'm late! I'm late!
For a very important date!
No time to say Hello.
Goodbye!
I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!
That song (song?) is in my head, and appropriately so. But only just. And considering my cramps, the rabbit will likely make it to the tea party* after all.
*Was it the tea party / unbirthday party he was ultimately late for? Hm. Life's mysteries...
Oh, and PS. I really, really, really am ready for a baby. I'm finally at a good place about it all. I cannot get enough of bitty babies, and I'm even kinda excited to be pregnant. I think my doubts and fears have been dealt with. Finally. And I'm glad I've had the time to thus deal. I'm willing and wanting things to happen in God's own time (though I really hope it's sooner than later), but now I'm ready! Bring on the baby(s)! :)
Okay. That's all. Zzzzzz...
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For a very important date!
No time to say Hello.
Goodbye!
I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!
That song (song?) is in my head, and appropriately so. But only just. And considering my cramps, the rabbit will likely make it to the tea party* after all.
*Was it the tea party / unbirthday party he was ultimately late for? Hm. Life's mysteries...
Oh, and PS. I really, really, really am ready for a baby. I'm finally at a good place about it all. I cannot get enough of bitty babies, and I'm even kinda excited to be pregnant. I think my doubts and fears have been dealt with. Finally. And I'm glad I've had the time to thus deal. I'm willing and wanting things to happen in God's own time (though I really hope it's sooner than later), but now I'm ready! Bring on the baby(s)! :)
Okay. That's all. Zzzzzz...
138
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Chills
I'm ovulating, and Derek's in bed achy and fevered. Baby-making odds are looking slim this month. Which is sad, 'cause I'm actually really excited (at last) to have a bitty bun in my oven.
Whilst sitting in church yesterday, I looked around at the beautiful little babies and seriously wanted one of my own. I've felt that way more often than not lately, which is somewhat of a huge step for me. And I'm even excited to have a baby bump (we'll see how long that enthusiasm holds)! Huuuuge steps, people! Huge!
I'm genuinely though pleasantly surprised by this change of perspective. I figure it will come in handy, especially if/when I get pregnant again!
Not that there's much chance of that happening any time soon. Though they do seem to be multiplyin', I don't think these are the right kinds of chills... ;)
Whilst sitting in church yesterday, I looked around at the beautiful little babies and seriously wanted one of my own. I've felt that way more often than not lately, which is somewhat of a huge step for me. And I'm even excited to have a baby bump (we'll see how long that enthusiasm holds)! Huuuuge steps, people! Huge!
I'm genuinely though pleasantly surprised by this change of perspective. I figure it will come in handy, especially if/when I get pregnant again!
Not that there's much chance of that happening any time soon. Though they do seem to be multiplyin', I don't think these are the right kinds of chills... ;)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Heaven help me when I'm 40!
I've been having a mid-life (hopefully not aaaactually mid) crisis lately. I'm not sure what triggered it. Was it turning 29? Having a kid in school? Feeling the "seven year itch?" I have no idea. Likely it is all a result of fluctuating hormones thanks to my IUD removal (localized hormones my eye!). Either way, all this craziness made me question whether I was really ready to do this whole song and dance again. Am I too old for this??
It makes me laugh. Today, anyway. Before, it made me cry.
But now I'm feeling better. Good. Excited. I can't wait to snuggle and smooch on a new baby of my very own. I feel ready. Bring on number three!
Now I just need to get knocked up...
138
It makes me laugh. Today, anyway. Before, it made me cry.
But now I'm feeling better. Good. Excited. I can't wait to snuggle and smooch on a new baby of my very own. I feel ready. Bring on number three!
Now I just need to get knocked up...
138
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Cold Feet
Dear Future Child,
Please know that you are wanted and loved and are in no way an inconvenience to our family. Just realize that your mommy has a hard time making difficult and irreversible decisions, one of which is whether to have another child. It's nothing personal.
I love you.
Mommy
I had a bit of a meltdown last night. I think more than anything it was because I was exhausted. I had a ridiculously productive morning (which rocked, at the time) followed by no nap (my own fault) followed by a busy, scheduled evening (my gosh, I hate schedules). Exhaustion was sure to follow. Either way, I had a meltdown come bedtime. I cried and cried to Derek and repeatedly asked him, "What the hell are we thinking?" (I also swear much more when I'm tired.) I couldn't fathom why in the world we wanted to add another person to our lives when we could hardly handle the lives we had. It's not a light decision. It's not like you can put the baby back!
Derek consoled me as he often does. He explained that the day was busier and crazier than it normally is, and that everyone takes a while to adjust to a new routine. If I had to do that everyday I would struggle for a week or two, and then I would accept it and handle it fine. The same will be true of adding a new baby to our lives. He also reminded me that babies do not come out running and wrecking. You have time to adjust to each new stage (and childproof your house as you go). We can do this. He also told me that regardless of the work and exhaustion that a new baby brings, he really wants one. This was fairly new to me, as I thought it was mostly me who was wanting a baby. Derek's so sweet; he's a sucker for little babies.
In the end, he told me that he felt I should read my scriptures and pray. He wasn't sure why, but he had had the thought multiple times throughout our conversation. Perhaps it was inspiration. I was somewhat taken aback, as Derek does not advise me in spiritual things... like... ever. But I believe that he can and has the right to. So I kissed him goodnight, came into the living room, and read. Due to my exhaustion, the reading didn't last long, but I was able to receive some comfort nonetheless. I realized that maybe having more kids is stupid in the world's perspective. It's more work, more money, and more stress. But in the larger scheme of things, it's a great choice. It's another child to raise up in righteousness. It's another friend. It's more love.
I feel better today. Less panicked. I also feel well-rested; it's possible the two are related.
135
Please know that you are wanted and loved and are in no way an inconvenience to our family. Just realize that your mommy has a hard time making difficult and irreversible decisions, one of which is whether to have another child. It's nothing personal.
I love you.
Mommy
I had a bit of a meltdown last night. I think more than anything it was because I was exhausted. I had a ridiculously productive morning (which rocked, at the time) followed by no nap (my own fault) followed by a busy, scheduled evening (my gosh, I hate schedules). Exhaustion was sure to follow. Either way, I had a meltdown come bedtime. I cried and cried to Derek and repeatedly asked him, "What the hell are we thinking?" (I also swear much more when I'm tired.) I couldn't fathom why in the world we wanted to add another person to our lives when we could hardly handle the lives we had. It's not a light decision. It's not like you can put the baby back!
Derek consoled me as he often does. He explained that the day was busier and crazier than it normally is, and that everyone takes a while to adjust to a new routine. If I had to do that everyday I would struggle for a week or two, and then I would accept it and handle it fine. The same will be true of adding a new baby to our lives. He also reminded me that babies do not come out running and wrecking. You have time to adjust to each new stage (and childproof your house as you go). We can do this. He also told me that regardless of the work and exhaustion that a new baby brings, he really wants one. This was fairly new to me, as I thought it was mostly me who was wanting a baby. Derek's so sweet; he's a sucker for little babies.
In the end, he told me that he felt I should read my scriptures and pray. He wasn't sure why, but he had had the thought multiple times throughout our conversation. Perhaps it was inspiration. I was somewhat taken aback, as Derek does not advise me in spiritual things... like... ever. But I believe that he can and has the right to. So I kissed him goodnight, came into the living room, and read. Due to my exhaustion, the reading didn't last long, but I was able to receive some comfort nonetheless. I realized that maybe having more kids is stupid in the world's perspective. It's more work, more money, and more stress. But in the larger scheme of things, it's a great choice. It's another child to raise up in righteousness. It's another friend. It's more love.
I feel better today. Less panicked. I also feel well-rested; it's possible the two are related.
135
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