Patience

I'm still not pregnant, and I really want to be. I believe in God's timing, as well as my body's own ability to know when all is in order to best host a baby. But sheesh, it's hard to wait!

Last month's disappointment was really poignant. I hope this month's isn't. I just 'had a feeling.' I should've remembered that my intuition sucks.

A sweet thing to remember: Last month, as I was laying in bed feeling sad and crampy, Aubrey came over with a treat. In this circumstance, we should deem it "Better Than Baby" cake. :) I ate it for breakfast. It cheered me up substantially. I have fantastic friends.

I also have two amazing children. If I could never have more, I'd be happy and content with only them. It's just that I had felt (and feel) there was at least one more waiting... Was that my faulty intuition? I guess time will tell.

Come quick, baby. Mommy's ready for ya.



Update/PS(Later that night): Punto. Bleh. Oh well. I expected as much. I don't feel sad, surprisingly. I'm grateful for my fully functioning, predicable body. Things will happen when they happen. Until then, I'm going to take a deep breath and try to just calmly wait.

Punto

A very unmerry unbirthday to me.

:(

Into the rabbit hole...

I'm late! I'm late!
For a very important date!
No time to say Hello.
Goodbye!
I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!

That song (song?) is in my head, and appropriately so. But only just. And considering my cramps, the rabbit will likely make it to the tea party* after all.



*Was it the tea party / unbirthday party he was ultimately late for? Hm. Life's mysteries...


Oh, and PS. I really, really, really am ready for a baby. I'm finally at a good place about it all. I cannot get enough of bitty babies, and I'm even kinda excited to be pregnant. I think my doubts and fears have been dealt with. Finally. And I'm glad I've had the time to thus deal. I'm willing and wanting things to happen in God's own time (though I really hope it's sooner than later), but now I'm ready! Bring on the baby(s)! :)

Okay. That's all. Zzzzzz...

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Bleh

Pun-freakin-to.

Chills

I'm ovulating, and Derek's in bed achy and fevered. Baby-making odds are looking slim this month. Which is sad, 'cause I'm actually really excited (at last) to have a bitty bun in my oven.

Whilst sitting in church yesterday, I looked around at the beautiful little babies and seriously wanted one of my own. I've felt that way more often than not lately, which is somewhat of a huge step for me. And I'm even excited to have a baby bump (we'll see how long that enthusiasm holds)! Huuuuge steps, people! Huge!

I'm genuinely though pleasantly surprised by this change of perspective. I figure it will come in handy, especially if/when I get pregnant again!

Not that there's much chance of that happening any time soon. Though they do seem to be multiplyin', I don't think these are the right kinds of chills... ;)

Heaven help me when I'm 40!

I've been having a mid-life (hopefully not aaaactually mid) crisis lately. I'm not sure what triggered it. Was it turning 29? Having a kid in school? Feeling the "seven year itch?" I have no idea. Likely it is all a result of fluctuating hormones thanks to my IUD removal (localized hormones my eye!). Either way, all this craziness made me question whether I was really ready to do this whole song and dance again. Am I too old for this??

It makes me laugh. Today, anyway. Before, it made me cry.

But now I'm feeling better. Good. Excited. I can't wait to snuggle and smooch on a new baby of my very own. I feel ready. Bring on number three!

Now I just need to get knocked up...



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Punto

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